The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again… Hosea 3:1a (NIV)
One of the perks of pastoring is performing weddings. It’s great playing a part in two lives becoming one. But I have a firm belief that weddings are only one day, marriages last forever. It’s important to not just prepare for the wedding (it’s nice for the memories) but to prepare for a marriage. I have a rule set up in my ministry, I don’t perform wedding ceremonies without taking the happy couple through pre-marital counseling. It’s our way of preparing for the marriage. So much in this world is trying to destroy husband and wife relations. We get classes, training, and education for everything, from how to drive a car to how to perform open heart surgery. Shouldn’t we also receive some training on how to properly treat the person we’ve decided to spend the rest of our lives with?
Chapter 3 of Hosea begins with God telling Hosea how to treat his wife. I want to begin this Valentine’s Day week by asking this question: Who tells you how to treat your spouse? What fuels your side of the relationship?
1. Is it your feelings or mood? Is it according to if you got up on the right side of the bed? In other words, if you feel to be nice you’re nice or if you feel to be not nice then you aren’t? I should warn you, feelings are fickle. They change constantly. Your most important relationship in this world, apart from yours with God, shouldn’t be taking on the wild rollercoaster ride of your mood. We don’t dare treat our boss disrespectful when we’re in a bad mood. That shows that we’re capable of controlling ourselves. There are things I must do to cultivate a healthy relationship with Sarah and some things I shouldn’t do to keep things healthy. If I don’t do what I must or do what I shouldn’t all because of how I feel, then I’m sowing weeds into my marriage garden.
2. Is it the example set by your parents? Like, “This is how Dad treated Mom. I’m just following what was modeled for me.” For some of us we have these amazing examples of what love is suppose to look like between a husband and wife. But for others of us we were shown what not to do. If your mother taught you to never trust your husband by her example what will you take into your marriage from that lesson? If dad taught you that laying a violent hand on your wife was an okay method of handling problems than in the heat of a fight that may be your default setting. If mom taught you that you need to control your husband and offer little respect than your marriage is headed for trouble. If your father taught you that a man is disconnected in home and that home stuff is the woman’s role than men, how can you ever lead a godly household?
3. Is it the advice and practices taught by this world? Let me warn you--that never works. You apply the world’s methods you get the world’s results.
4. Or have you accepted God’s standard, the Bible, as your “How to Treat My Spouse” Manual? Again, chapter 3 begins with God telling Hosea what to do with his wife. It you want a marriage that works like a well oiled machine, then listen to what God says and do it. That’s what this week’s study is about. We’re going to look at Hosea 3:1 and glean some lessons that can strengthen any marriage.
So today’s lesson is simple: A strong marriage is forged not in feelings, family legacies, or failing worldliness but through implementing God’s marriage standard, His Word.
Questions to consider:
Consider: What has determined how you treat your spouse?
Why must God’s Word be implemented in your marriage?
What area of your marriage does God’s Word need to help in?
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