12 I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. Philemon 1:12 (NIV)
There you stood with more questions than answers; being forced to make a decision. So afraid of how this decision would affect the rest of your life. You feel the sweat beginning to drip down your forehead. Should you flip a coin or do the old einee meanee minee moe routine? No, a decision this big can’t be decided by mere chance. Maybe a pros and cons list? No time. A decision must be made now. It’s as if the world is growing impatient around you. You feel the eyes just burning holes through you. “Just decide already,” though they won’t say it out loud you know it’s what they’re thinking. If you “just decide” how will this affect your tomorrow, a month from now, a year from now? Will your grandkids feel the sting, the impact of that one awful day grandpa/grandma callously “just decided.” Oh no, for their sake you can’t “just decide.” I need the right decision. You clear your head, take a deep breath. You feel the warmth from the big red glow emitting from the machine in front of you. So you decide with a press of a button: “Cherry Coke it is.”
Decisions are tough. And God has set things up in a way where He doesn’t force His will on you. You must decide for yourself what to do. This gets frustrating at times for some of us, “God, just decide for me. Make me do what You want.” But you’re not a robot.
As a leader I look at some of the decisions people under my lead make and scratch my head. I warn and warn and warn and warn: “Trouble ahead. Don’t go there. Stay away from the danger. Dangerous cliff ahead.” And watch people blindly fall over: “Bump! Bump! Crack! Bump! Crack! Smash!” That’s when I get the call, “PI (that’s short for Pastor Israel), I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. Come help now. Drop what you’re doing and come now!” As much as I’d like to say, “Why didn’t you listen to my warning?” I don’t.
As much as we’d like to make decisions for people we can’t. Some people have to learn the hard way.
Today’s verse tells us, “I am sending him back to you.” Paul was sending Onesimus, the former runaway bad slave of Philemon turned saved, useful, servant of God, back to his owner to make peace. But here’s the important point: In the original Greek it’s worded different. It alludes to the fact that Paul doesn’t send Onesimus but Onesimus wanted to go back to Philemon to make peace, perhaps apologize, and pay restitution and Paul willingly sent Onesimus at Onesimus’ request.
Those of us in positions of authority struggle with the decisions others make. But our responsibility is simply to train, pray, release and pray some more. When bad decisions are made we correct and discipline if it’s in our power to do so and help pick up the broken pieces. But here’s what you don’t do: you don’t “protect” those that make bad decisions from consequences. Consequences are an important inbuilt teacher of decisions. We feel the pain and learn. You take the pain away they don’t learn. Love, true love lets people feel the pain of their decisions.
Questions to consider:
Why would we like to be able to make decisions for others?
Why are consequences important for decision making?
Why do we sometimes with to protect people from consequences?
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